1:Fred Kofman was in the United Kingdom facilitating an executive meeting for one of his clients.
The meeting was scheduled to finish on Friday. Fred would fly home to the United States on Saturday so we could attend his daughter Sophie’s 14th birthday party on Sunday.
However, the executive team was unable to reach a decision on a critical issue. They decided to resume the discussion on Monday.
The CEO asked Fred to stay an additional week.
Fred asked for some time to consider what to do. He told the CEO he’d let him know by 9 pm Friday night.
“I went to my hotel,” Fred recounts in his book The Meaning Revolution, “called Sophie, and explained the situation to her.”
He began: “Sophie, if you want me to return as I promised, I will do it. I still have my ticket for tomorrow morning.”
But before she could answer, Fred asked: “Is there anything I could do with you to celebrate your birthday the following weekend that would be better than having me at your party this Sunday?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Sophie replied, “Skydiving! Oh, Daddy, I’ve always wanted to do that! It would be even better than having you at my party.”
He said he would do some research and call her back.
“I googled ‘Skydiving’ in our city and found a flight club that offered tandem jumps,” Fred writes, “but it turned out that Sophie had to be at least eighteen years old to do such a jump. So I called Sophie and explained that she wasn’t old enough to jump but that the flight club offered what was described to me as ‘very exciting glider flights.’
“After a brief negotiation, we agreed on a two-part deal. I could stay in London and, in exchange, I would take her on the glider flight the following Sunday and on a tandem jump when she turned eighteen.”
Fred helped the team complete their work and then took Sophie for a glider ride the following Sunday.
“Which delighted Sophie,” he recalls, “and made me sicker than her favorite roller-coaster ride did.”
2: What’s the lesson here?
“To be a transcendent leader, we need to be impeccable about our commitments,” Fred notes. “Our word must absolutely be our bond.”
And yet, sometimes, we cannot make good on a commitment.
“People know that, sooner or later, circumstance will prevent us from fulfilling our promises. . .
“When this does happen, if we take care of them with integrity, they will redouble their confidence in us.”
Situations like the one described above can strengthen a relationship if handled wisely.
“Paradoxically, it is possible to increase trust when we can’t keep our word, if we honor our word,” Fred observes.
3: Fred shares another story to underscore this point.
“Early in my career, I consulted two companies,” he writes. “Company A had engaged me to do a three-day workshop on a specific date and agreed to pay me X dollars.”
Then, 30 days before the workshop, he received an invitation from Company B to deliver a keynote speech and facilitate an all-day conference with their top five hundred leaders.
“This conference was on the middle day of the three-day workshop I had committed to do for Company A,” Fred explains.
“For this keynote and facilitation I would get paid 2X dollars.”
His preference would be Company B. But he had already committed to Company A.
So, what did Fred do?
“I called the learning and development manager at Company A and told her, ‘Mary, I’ve been asked to do a keynote on a day that conflicts with our upcoming workshop. I know that you have already invited the executives and that several of them have confirmed their attendance. I realize that changing the date at this stage would be costly for you.
“So I have the following proposition: If you’d like me to do the workshop as planned, then I will do it.
“But if you are willing to reschedule it, I will do it at a later date for free. I’ll waive my fee. You’d only pay for the travel and accommodation. What do you think?'”
Mary immediately answered: “Deal!”
“Our budget is quite stretched,” she shared, “so it would be a welcome relief to save the money. I’ll deal with the change of date. If anybody complains, I’ll explain to them why we’re doing it.”
Mary was able to move the date of the workshop to the following week. And Fred was able to increase trust by honoring his word.
He writes: “I was able to do both jobs, and got 2X dollars for them, which was a good deal for me. In addition, my reputation as a supportive, flexible, and trustworthy consultant grew significantly. I worked with both of these companies for many more years.”
More tomorrow!
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Reflection: How can I balance honoring my commitments while adapting to unforeseen circumstances without compromising trust?
Action: The next time I face a conflict between promises, explore creative solutions that uphold my integrity and strengthen relationships.