1: As leaders, we must build strong relationships with the people who work for us.
Yet, “like all human bonds, the connections between bosses and the people who report to them are unpredictable and not subject to absolute rules,” Kim Scott writes in her book Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity.
There is, however, a framework we can use to create great relationships.
The secret?
Radical. Candor.
Why “radical”?
“I chose this word because so many of us are conditioned to avoid saying what we really think,” Kim writes.
“This is partially adaptive social behavior; it helps us avoid conflict or embarrassment. But in a boss, that kind of avoidance is disastrous.”
Why “candor”?
“I chose ‘candor’ instead of ‘honesty’ because there’s not much humility in believing that we know the truth,” she notes. “Implicit with candor is that we’re simply offering our view of what’s going on and that we expect people to offer theirs.
“If it turns out that in fact we’re the one who got it wrong, we want to know.”
Radical Candor builds trust and creates the type of communication that helps us achieve the results we’re looking to achieve.
We deliberately communicate clearly enough so there’s no room for interpretation. And we do so humbly.
2: To create an environment where radical candor is the norm, Kim believes we must focus on two specific objectives:
Dimension #1: “Care Personally.”
Being “professional” isn’t enough. We can’t just care about someone’s ability to do their job. To develop strong relationships with our direct reports, we must bring our whole selves to work. And we need to “care about each of the people who work for us as human beings.”
It’s not just business. It’s personal. Deeply personal, Kim tells us.
Dimension #2: “Challenge Directly.”
When someone’s work isn’t good enough, we must tell them. We must be willing to provide hard feedback. That’s our job.
Which includes “when they are not going to get that new role they wanted,” Kim writes, “or when we’re going to hire a new boss ‘over’ them, [and] when the results don’t justify further investment in what they’re working on.”
The reality?
“Most people struggle with doing these things. Challenging people generally pisses them off, and at first, that doesn’t seem like a good way to build a relationship or to show that you ‘care personally.’
“And yet challenging people is often the best way to show them that you care when we’re the boss.”
In fact, when we practice Radical Candor, we often generate the opposite of what we feared.
We “fear people will become angry or vindictive,” Kim writes. “Instead they are usually grateful for the chance to talk it through.”
Even when the other person gets angry or resentful, those emotions typically fade when they know we genuinely care.
3: Five things happen when we genuinely care about the people who work for us.
Kim writes: “They are much more likely to:
1: Accept and act on our praise and criticism;
2: Tell us what they really think about what we are doing well and, more importantly, not doing so well;
3: Engage in this same behavior with one another, meaning less pushing the rock up the hill again and again;
4: Embrace their role on the team; and
5: Focus on getting results.”
The best part? Radical Candor then becomes the norm.
“As the people who report to us become more Radically Candid with each other, we spend less time mediating. When Radical Candor is encouraged and supported by the boss, communication flows, resentments that have festered come to the surface and get resolved, and people begin to love not just their work but whom they work with and where they work.”
Here’s to that.
More tomorrow!
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Reflection: Is my more significant opportunity to “Care Personally” or “Challenge Directly”?
Action: Discuss the “Radical Candor” concept with a colleague or my team.