1: Unchecked power, control, or authority can work, Kim Scott writes in her book Radical Candor.
“They work especially well in a baboon troop or a totalitarian regime,” Kim writes.
But if we’re reading her book or this blog, that’s likely not what we are shooting for.
Kim had just started coaching Ryan Smith, the CEO of Qualtrics.
Ryan asked Kim the most important question for new leaders. The one that doesn’t usually get asked.
“I have just hired several new leaders on my team. How can I build a relationship with each of them quickly, so that I can trust them and they can trust me?”
Because leadership is about relationships.
Because “the relationships we have with the handful of people who report directly to us will have an enormous impact on the results your team achieves.”
2: Kim believes “very few people focus first on the central difficulty of management that Ryan hit on: Establishing a trusting relationship with each person who reports directly to us.”
Depending on the size of our organization, we may not have a relationship with everyone in the organization. However, we can get to know the people who report directly to us. In fact, we must, Kim believes.
“The relationships we have with our direct reports will impact the relationships they have with their direct reports,” she notes. “The ripple effect will go a long way toward creating—or destroying—a positive culture.
“Relationships may not scale, but culture does.”
Is “relationship” really the right word?
Yes, Kim believes.
As leaders, our ability “to build trusting, human connections with the people who report directly to us ,” she writes, “will determine the quality of everything that follows.”
3: But it’s not as easy as it sounds. Many things get in the way. Like: “power dynamics first and foremost, but also fear of conflict, worry about the boundaries of what’s appropriate or ‘professional,’ fear of losing credibility, time pressure.
We must navigate our way through these obstacles, however, because establishing strong relationships determines whether we succeed in the three key responsibilities as managers:
i: Creating a culture of praise and criticism to keep all team members moving in the right direction
ii: Understanding what motivates each team member to avoid burnout or boredom and keep the team united
iii: Driving results collectively
More tomorrow.
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Reflection: Make a list of my direct reports and/ or my peers. Rate the quality of the relationship I have with each individual. What is one specific action I can take with each individual?
Action: Do it.
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