1: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about.
Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. On Friday, I share something about myself or what we are working on at PCI.
This week, we’ve been exploring Barbara Fredrickson‘s fascinating book Love 2.0, where we’ve learned about “the biology of love.”
Scientists tell us love is an emotion, a “micro-moment of warmth and connection that we share with another living being,” Barbara notes.
2: Three things happen inside our brains and bodies when we connect with someone.
First, our brains sync up so that we experience a single, shared emotion. Love reverberates between us: “As our respective brain waves mirror one another,” she writes, “each of us—moment by moment—changes the other’s mind. . . Shared emotions, brain synchrony, and mutual understanding emerge together.”
Next, we feel a surge of oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone” or the “love hormone.” Oxytocin plays a vital role in social bonding and attachment.
Finally, our vagus nerve, which runs from deep within our brain stem down into our heart and other internal organs, becomes engaged. Those with a high vagal tone experience more love and connection.
“For most people,” she observes, “it remains roughly the same year after year, rhythmically channeling them toward loneliness or social prosperity, sickness or health.”
Yet, Barbara’s research at the University of North Carolina shows that we can increase our vagal tone by learning to meditate using the ancient practice of loving-kindness meditation.
“Vagal tone—which is commonly taken to be stable an attribute as your adult height—actually improves significantly with mind-training,” Barbara writes.
By practicing scarcely more than an hour each week, we can increase the amount of love and connection we experience.
3: Interesting! So, now what? For me, I’m going to try it out.
Each year, I select ten goals to focus on. I’m making a mid-year modification to my list of ten goals for 2024. I’m going to remove one of my goals around executing a monthly process for our personal financials and replace it with a goal to practice one hour a week of loving-kindness meditation.
I like the specificity of one hour a week. What gets measured gets done. I like goals that are easy to track.
I’m not abandoning my intention around creating a monthly personal financial process; it just won’t be one of ten big goals for the year.
I’ll report back periodically on how I’m doing.
More next week!
______________________
Reflection: What surprises me about Barbara’s research?
Action: Discuss with a family member, friend, or colleague.