1: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about.
Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. On Friday, I share something about myself or what we are working on at PCI.
One of my goals for the year is to experiment with different approaches and tools to strengthen my relationships with the people I love and care about.
We will revisit ideas from prior RiseWithDrew posts on this topic for the next several Fridays.
2: What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?
Professor Brene Brown tells us it is the difference between “feeling for” and “feeling with.”
Feeling sorry for someone is different than feeling sorry with them.
And while empathy drives connection, Brene believes, sympathy drives disconnection.
Empathy creates a sacred space. It is a choice, a vulnerable choice, Brene says. Because we have to connect with something in ourselves that knows that feeling.
When someone shares something difficult with us, one tendency we have is to try to fix it or make it better. And yet, as Brene tells us, “Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with “At least.”
As in, “I had a miscarriage…” “At least, you can get pregnant.”
Or “John is getting kicked out of school…” “At least Tara is an A student.”
3: Instead, when someone tells us, “I’m stuck. It’s dark. I’m overwhelmed.” We can say, “I know what’s it’s like down here. And, you are not alone.”
Or, if we don’t know what to do, we can simply state: “I don’t even know what to say right now I’m just so glad you told me…”
Because our response doesn’t make something better. What makes something better is connection.
More next week.
____________________
Reflection: Think about a difficult time in my life. Were there people who helped me? What did they say? What was their approach with me?
Action: Practice empathy today.