1: Think back to a moment that brought you joy.
“Choose a good moment from the last week, something that made you feel happy, hopeful, proud, or close to someone,” Kelly McGonigal suggests in her book Joy is a Risk Worth Taking.
Perhaps it’s “the pride and hope you feel when you make progress on a difficult goal that encourages you to keep striving.”
Or, perhaps it’s “the love and tenderness you feel when your child falls asleep in your arms that heightens your desire to care for them.”
Or, “the sense of peace and wonder you experience in nature that strengthens your attachment to life itself,” she notes.
2: Now, instead of letting the moment slip away, ask yourself: Why does this moment matter to you?
“Put yourself back in that moment as best you can and recall how you felt,” Kelly suggests, “the thoughts or emotions you had and the feelings in your body. . .
“Imagine that I’m interviewing you about joy. I ask you why that particular moment holds value to you.
“What would you say? What context would you put the moment into to help me understand why it made you feel good? Pretend you are answering me directly.”
Putting your thoughts and feelings into words—either by writing them down or saying them aloud—activates your brain’s meaning system.
“Joy, as an emotion, wants you to value what brings you joy,” she writes. “When you understand this reward function, it becomes easier to use joy as a guide in life.
“The things that bring you joy are worth prioritizing and investing in.”
Sometimes this happens naturally. Other times, you can intentionally reflect on what brings you joy—and why it matters.
Kelly writes: “If this reflection helped you understand the value of a good moment, or if it refreshed your positive feelings in a way that feels meaningful, consider making this form of intentional appreciation a habit.”
You can try this at the end of the day or first thing in the morning.
“Look back on a good moment and describe to yourself why that moment holds value to you,” she writes. You can also share that moment and its significance with someone.
“Joy is a special kind of reward,” Kelly explains. “It creates an emotional bond to whatever brought you joy.
“Because the reward response co-occurs with a sense of meaning, joy teaches you to value the relationship, activity, role, goal, place, or experience that produced those positive feelings.”
3: Joy offers another important benefit: It reminds you that life is worth living.
“This is not about what brings you joy,” Kelly explains. “It’s about what feeling joy means. . .
“Humans also have psychological and social needs, including the need to matter, the need to belong, the need for personal agency, the need to feel safe, and the need for hope.”
Your brain naturally looks at your experiences and asks big questions like, “Does what I do make a difference?” “Can I trust others?” “Is there anything in life to look forward to?”
When you experience joy, your brain receives a signal that one or more of these fundamental needs is being met.
“Yes, life can be good. Yes, other people care about you. Yes, what you do matters. Yes, there is reason to hope,” Kelly notes.
“The brain’s ability to generalize in this way is why small moments of joy are such a strong predictor of meaning, belonging, satisfaction with life, and hope.”
More tomorrow.
Reflection: When you think about your happiest moments, what do they reveal about what matters most to you?
Action: Recall one joyful moment from the past week. Write down what happened, how you felt, and why that moment was meaningful to you.