1: Say you’re faced with a difficult challenge.
Or a big opportunity.
What if you approached it like a game?
This is the main idea behind Jane McGonigal’s SuperBetter framework, described in her book. It uses allies, quests, power-ups, bad guys, and epic wins to help you become more resilient and make real progress.
Yesterday, we looked at how radio producer Alex Goldman used SuperBetter to recover after a terrible accident where he was knocked off his bike and run over by a car.
Alex is the kind of person who would rather struggle alone than ask for help.
Eventually, Alex reached his first epic win: a three-mile bike ride around Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. To his surprise, eleven allies helped him reach this goal.
2: So, how does SuperBetter creator Jane define an ally?
It’s someone who knows what challenge you are taking on.
They understand your favorite power-ups, which are the people, habits, and activities that help you thrive, as well as your biggest bad guys, like obstacles, temptations, and negative thoughts.
They also check in with you from time to time to see how you’re doing.
That’s all it takes.
“To make someone an ally,” Jane says, “all it takes is for you to share your game and for them to accept the invitation to play.”
Instead of just asking for help, you’re inviting someone to play a game with you. Jane says, “This is all it takes to turn any friend or family member into an ally.”
Why is this so important?
“Having social support makes it easier for you to achieve your goals,” Jane explains.
The research is clear: “Every time you get support from someone—an encouraging word, a shared laugh, a hug, a satisfying conversation, a gesture of kindness, a few minutes of fun together—the following things happen:
- “Your stress levels go down, as measured by a drop in cortisol, the stress hormone.
- “Your immune system is bolstered.
- “Wounds heal faster, you catch fewer colds, and you even fight diseases like cancer more effectively.
- “Your heart literally gets stronger. In fact, your whole cardiovascular system works more efficiently, with lower blood pressure and a decreased heart rate.”
The big takeaway: “No matter what challenge you’re facing, this kind of physical resilience helps you have more strength and energy to achieve your goals.”
3: So, how can you start finding allies?
Jane recommends starting by telling someone about your challenge. You could say, “I’m playing a game to help me [your challenge here]. If you’re up for it, I’d love to have you as my ally in the game.”
Next, explain what it means to be an ally: “You’ll give me advice and encouragement and let me tell you about my adventures.”
Then, set a time frame for the game. For example, you could say, “I’d love for you to be my ally for the next thirty days,” or “Let’s try this together for a week!”
Setting clear boundaries makes it easier for your ally to say yes.
Once they agree, give each ally a quest “to keep them motivated and inspired,” Jane suggests.
“A quest is a teeny-tiny task they can accomplish in the next twenty-four hours—like sending you an inspirational quote by text message or choosing one power-up from your list to do together.”
Here are some specific quests you could ask them to do:
“The best thing you could do for me this week is to just text me once a day to remind me to not give in to the bad guys.”
Or “Your first mission as my ally is to think of a new power-up for me. Preferably one I can do in bed.”
Or “I have a quest to pick a new mantra. Will you send me some of your favorite inspirational quotes?”
You can also find allies online.
“Online discussion forums and social media support groups,” Jane notes, “are the perfect place to make new friends who’ll understand exactly what you’re going through.”
If your ally wants to learn more, you could give them a copy of Jane’s book or share the link to her TED talk.
Finally, “be sure to report to your allies often about your progress in the game, so you can get tons of advice, encouragement, and support,” Jane says.
More tomorrow.
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Reflection: Who would make the best SuperBetter ally for the challenge or opportunity you’re facing right now?
Action: Invite one person to be your ally this week. Share your challenge, explain the game, and ask if they’d be willing to play alongside you.
If you’re not sure who, these brainstorming questions can help:
- Who do you feel you can really be yourself around?
- Who can you ask for help if you really need it?
- Who do you have great conversations with?
- Who do you play games with? Who makes you smile whenever you see or talk to them?
- Who gives you good advice?
- Who do you admire and would love as a coach or mentor?
- Who makes things more fun when they’re around?