1: You know when the other guy is overstating his point.

You feel it when someone shuts down and stops participating in the conversation.

You sense when someone tightens their jaw and begins pointing their finger.

What do you fail to notice?

“Your eye roll. Your head shake. Your sneer,” Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory in their classic book Crucial … continue reading

1: When Diane Button was new to end-of-life care, so many questions flooded her mind.

“I wondered if I would ever get to a place where I would feel comfortable stepping into the home of a dying person with ease and grace,” she writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

Fortunately, she had a mentor. “Hospice chaplain Clarence Liu was was … continue reading

1: Imagine you were to experience back pain and disability after an acute back injury.

Turns out you will likely fall into one of two distinct groups.

“Researchers have known for years that some people who experience acute back pain recover successfully and lead full lives, while others experience ongoing pain that eventually leads to disability,” Jane McGonigal writes in her book SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully.

What … continue reading

How to Promote Calm: Science-Backed Breathing

1: Stress gets a bad name.

Like many things in life, the Goldilocks rule applies here.

Too much stress.  Not good.  In fact, it will kill us.

But too little stress is not good either.

To perform at our best, we want to harness stress and use it to our advantage.

Or as Goldilocks says, “Not too hot. Not too cold. Just right.”

“Stress … continue reading

In honor of Presidents’ Day next week, I’m going to share several posts on Abraham Lincoln this week.

1: Following the defeat at Gettysburg, Robert E. Lee and his Confederate Army retreated toward the refuge of Virginia.

“At that moment Lee was more vulnerable than ever before,” write Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin in Lead Yourself First. “Lee’s remaining troops were in enemy country, disoriented by defeat, and … continue reading

1: Something seemed off, Diane thought when she arrived at her client, Amanda’s house.

“I noticed immediately that there were no paw prints at the front door. Her house was spotless. The kitchen was uncluttered, no clothes on the floors, nothing out of place,”  Diane Button writes in her powerful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

Diane is an end-of-life doula. She sat with … continue reading

1: Ben Horowitz had been set up on a blind date by his friend and high school football teammate Claude Shaw.

It was the summer of 1986, and Ben had just finished his sophomore year of college at Columbia University and was living in Los Angeles with his father.

This would be a double date, and Ben and Claude decided to prepare an elaborate dinner for Claude’s girlfriend, Jackie Williams, … continue reading

1: Ever experienced a sleepless night?

Ever lie in bed “contemplating the end of a relationship, a job transition, our physical health, or concerns about children and family members?”  Diane Button asks in her powerful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

The next morning, we typically get up and start the next day. When we stop to pick up our coffee, the barista … continue reading

1: Consider the following two questions:  

“Where did you get married?” vs. “How did you decide on the wedding venue?”

At first glance, the questions seem similar. But if our goal is to start a meaningful conversation, they are worlds apart.

“Where did you get married?” is an example of a “stop sign” question, Sahil Bloom writes in his book The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design … continue reading

1: “I’m a fixer,”  Sahil Bloom writes in his book, The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life..

“When people come to me with problems, my bias is to try to fix them.”

Professionally, this can be a good thing.

“But when I bring this bias into my relationships,” Sahil observes, “the results can be decidedly mixed.

“Over the years, my fix-it mentality led … continue reading