“We had seven minutes left on the clock until the event was officially over,” Priya Parker writes in her book The Art of Gathering.
1: It was the end of a two-day workshop. Priya and two other facilitators had spent countless hours preparing the content of the sessions. “Everything–every session, every transition, every break–was tightly designed, down to the minute. Everything except for the final ten minutes of the … continue reading
1: Priya Parker had been hired to facilitate a meeting on “one of the most politically divisive issues of our time,” she writes in her book The Art of Gathering. A dozen prominent civic leaders would attend.
The only problem? No one wanted to be there.
All of them “worked on the same hot-button issue, but from radically different angles,” she notes. “The leaders were, technically, on the same … continue reading
1: Everyone fears the “Thanksgiving problem.”
The “total free-for-all of pent-up grievances that often brings out tears and a screaming match, culminating in your cousin’s announcement that he will be attending his “Friendsgiving” back home from now on,” writes Priya Parker in The Art of Gathering.
So, instead, we default to harmony. No controversy, we say. We stick to bland topics—”something about collaboration or partnership, prosperity or building … continue reading
1: “We need more heat,” Priya Parker‘s client nervously whispered into her ear, she shares in her book The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters.
An architecture firm had hired Priya to facilitate a discussion about the firm’s long-term vision: “Did they want to remain a bricks-and-mortar architecture firm,” Priya writes, “or did they want to morph into an experience-design firm?”
The problem? While … continue reading
1: Who hasn’t been there?
The conference where everyone networks by presenting our “best selves” and sharing how smart we are.
The lunch or dinner where people exchange surface-level pleasantries.
What’s lacking?
Authenticity.
What’s lacking?
Heat.
What makes some events memorable and other just so-so?
Stories.
How do we tap into “the heat” just below the surface?
Stories.
2: This week, we’ve been looking at some lessons from Priya Parker’s … continue reading
1: The Harvard Kennedy School of Government is an intense place.
“The culture taught us to avoid sounding stupid in front of one another,” writes Priya Parker in The Art of Gathering. “It was important to show your strength.”
When students asked, “How are you?” they responded with smiles and false positivity, she recalls. “The up-and-down facts of our lives smoothed into ascending narratives, our accomplishments were humble-bragged, and … continue reading
1: Imagine a family gathering. Aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews.
“Normally at such dinners, no one reveals anything fresh or surprising,” writes Priya Parker in The Art of Gathering. Cousins will hang out with other cousins, grandparents will talk among themselves, and most of the conversation will be small talk. We “eat, drink, get sleepy, and call it a night.”
Not necessarily a bad evening, … continue reading
1: The World Economic Forum (WEF) brings together the rich and powerful several times a year, most notably in Davos, Switzerland.
Priya Parker and a colleague were charged with creating an event at the annual WEF conclave in the United Arab Emirates, several months before the major event in Davos. One of the objectives of this earlier conference is to surface ideas and agendas for Davos.
Conferences can be a … continue reading
Openings matter.
1: Case-in-point: The first day of Professor Sugata Roychowdhury’s accounting class at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University.
Sugata doesn’t lower his head and take attendance by reading off the names of the students. Instead, he walks “around the room, holding eye contact with the seventy or so new students in the lecture hall, and, one by one, points at each student and states their (sometimes … continue reading
Author Priya Parker once attended the funeral of a close friend.
1: “The church was packed. Hundreds of family members, friends, and former colleagues gathered in a beautiful room to honor a man who had towered in his field and helped so many,” she recalls in The Art of Gathering. “Sadness hung in the air, and many of us were already crying.
“The minister got up and walked to … continue reading
