1: “I had a friend who carried a thick stack of linen-based cards,” Charlie Munger writes in Poor Charlie’s Almanack. Before his death at 99 in 2023, Charlie was Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway and Warren Buffett‘s business partner.
“When somebody would make a comment that reflected self-pity, he would slowly and portentously pull out his huge stack of cards, take the top one, and hand it to the nest person.”
What did the card say? “Your story has touched my heart. Never have I heard of anyone with as many misfortunes as you.”
Charlie writes: “Well, we can say that’s waggery, but I suggest it can be mental hygiene. Every time we find we’re drifting into self-pity, whatever the cause, even if our child is dying of cancer, self-pity is not going to help.”
Better to imagine giving ourselves a card off the top of the deck.
Because “self-pity is always counterproductive. It’s the wrong way to think. And when we avoid it we get a great advantage over everybody else,” Charlie reflects, “because self-pity is a standard response. And we can train ourselves out of it.”
2: Self-pity falls into a category of thinking we must avoid.
“Generally speaking, envy, resentment, revenge, and self-pity are disastrous modes of thought,” Charlie notes.
Another pitfall to avoid?
“Thinking that what’s good for me is good for the wider civilization,” Charlie suggests. In other words: “Rationalizing foolish or evil conduct based on our subconscious tendency to serve ourselves is a terrible way to think. We want to drive that out of ourselves, because we want to be wise, not foolish, and good, not evil.”
All of us are subject to this pervasive, often subconscious bias. We think that “‘the true little me’ is entitled to do what it wants to do,” he reflects.
One example: Why shouldn’t I get whatever I want by overspending my income?
“Well, there once was a man who became the most famous composer in the world, but he was utterly miserable most of the time,” Charlie explains. “One of the reasons was that he always overspent his income. That was Mozart. If Mozart couldn’t get by with this kind of asinine conduct, I don’t think you should try it.”
3: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about. Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. On Fridays, to begin 2025, I am sharing some of Charlie’s wit and wisdom.
Charlie tells us: Not only should we be aware of this self-serving tendency in ourselves, we should always be alert for it in others as well.
“Because most people are not going to be very successful at removing such bias, the human condition being what it is,” Charlie observes. If we “don’t allow for self-serving bias in the conduct of others, we are, again, a fool.”
More next week!
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Reflection: How can I catch myself drifting into self-pity and actively train myself out of this counterproductive mindset?
Action: Create a mental “card” to remind myself to avoid self-pity, and use it whenever I notice myself slipping into that mindset.
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