1: “If you’ve ever seen a picture of your mother or father as a young adult, you know how startling it can be,” Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz write in The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.
“They seem like people we might have met along the road rather than the parents who created us,” the authors observe. “They often appear less burdened, more carefree, and somehow… different.”
Looking at photos of ourselves when we were younger can also surprise us. “We might look at our younger selves and feel a sweet nostalgia,” they write, “or maybe a sense of wistfulness, as we’re confronted with our physical changes, our abandoned dreams, our once treasured beliefs.”
For some of us, looking back in time reminds us of difficult times and challenges that may be hard to revisit.
2: Bob and Marc are the current director and associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest in-depth longitudinal Study of human life ever done.
Yesterday, we looked at how the Study has been conducted over its eighty-four year history. Every two years, the now more than 2,000 participants fill out a survey.
“Many of our Harvard Study participants have told us that filling out questionnaires every two years and being interviewed regularly has given them a welcome perspective on their lives and relationships,” the authors note. “We ask them to really think about themselves and the people they love, and that process helps some of them.
Bob and Marc suggest that with a little effort and self-reflection, we can do this, too.
“Find a photograph of ourselves when we were about half as old as we are now,” they suggest. “If we’re under 35, go back to the time you were starting adult life. . . Don’t just imagine that time, try to find an actual photo.”
Why? “The lively reality of a photograph, the details of the place and time, the expression on your face, all help evoke the feelings that make this exercise worthwhile,” they write.
3: Look closely at the photograph. “Try to place ourselves back in the moment when the picture was taken. Really look: spend several minutes (a long time!) just taking it in and remembering that era of your life. What were you thinking about back then? What were you worried about? What were you hopeful about? What were your plans? Who were you spending time with? What was most important to you? And perhaps the most difficult question to face: When you think of yourself at that time, what do you regret?”
Take a few minutes to write down our thoughts. We can be as detailed as we like. We can then suggest someone close to us do the same.
“As longitudinal researchers, we suggest that if you have a printed photo, consider using it as a bookmark, and when you’re finished, leaving it here in this book, along with your notes,” Bob and Marc suggest. “Someone you know might get something out of it in the future as they try the exercise themselves; these records of our loved ones’ past lives and thoughts are rare, and valuable.”
More tomorrow.
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Reflection: How might reflecting on my past self through old photographs help me gain new insights into my personal growth and life journey?
Action: Find a photograph of myself from half my current age, spend 5 minutes reflecting on that period of my life, and write down my thoughts about my concerns, hopes, and values at that time.
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