1: When Diane Button was new to end-of-life care, so many questions flooded her mind.

“I wondered if I would ever get to a place where I would feel comfortable stepping into the home of a dying person with ease and grace,” she writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

Fortunately, she had a mentor. “Hospice chaplain Clarence Liu was was … continue reading

“One of my clients had candles spread all over her house, in every room,” Diane Button, an end-of-life doula, writes in her book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

“They were on nightstands and dressers, surrounding her bathtub, and even along the walkway of the woodsy entrance into her house,” Diane notes.

“There were dozens of them, and they were beautiful, but not one … continue reading

1: Looking for lighthearted conversation?

You’re unlikely to find it if you visit the Button family on New Year’s Eve.

“Our oldest daughter, Carly, is getting her doctorate in counseling psychology and is a fan of stoicism and existential psychology,” Diane Button writes in her book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

“Her passion inevitably leads us to deep conversations about the meaning and purpose … continue reading

1: “So many of my clients tell me profound, beautiful things about their loved ones,” Diane Button writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

Yet, when asked if they have shared those thoughts or would like to write them down so they can be shared, they often reply, “I’m sure they already know” or “It goes without saying.”

As an end-of-life … continue reading

1: “Why is it so hard to let go?” Marilyn said.

Marilyn was ninety-six years old. A naturally curious person, she had engaged Diane Button, an end-of-life doula, because she wanted to die well.

“She was willing and even excited to do the work to make that happen,” Diane writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

Initially, Marilyn told Diane … continue reading

1: “Our conversations started out funny and just got funnier,” Diane Button writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

Diane and Franck Battelli, both end-of-life doulas, were meeting with Greg, 53, who was dying from ALS.

Before proceeding, Greg wanted to make sure it would be a good fit.

“He let us know in a very serious tone of voice that … continue reading

1: Randall was frustrated.

“Everyone wants to know how I’m doing, if I’m sleeping, and what treatments I’m having,”  Diane Button writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

“Don’t they understand this is the this is the last think in the world I want to talk about?” Randall said.

“I want to talk about life, and love, and how everyone is … continue reading

One of my clients said, on her deathbed, “This is so beautiful…and so warm. There is light, everywhere.” Lomi, age 76

1: “Please forgive me! Please forgive me!” Ruth exclaimed.

“She was sitting up with her eyes open wide,”  Diane Button writes in her powerful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

The seventy-year-old Ruth was experiencing severe distress and agitation. Diane, who serves as … continue reading

1: “We live as if we can control the hands of time,” Diane Button writes in her wonderful book What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living.

“We spend time, waste time, lose time, save time, kill time, and buy time,” Diane notes. “We live as if the clock ticks based on our own needs and desires.”

And yet, time is finite. And we never know how … continue reading

1: Scott had been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years before. But now the cancer had returned to his lymph nodes and bones, and he was in constant pain.

Scott’s wife, Susan, reached out to Diane Button, an end-of-life doula—someone who provides emotional and practical support to people who are dying and their families. This role is similar to that of a birth doula, but for end-of-life care.

“Scott didn’t … continue reading