1: Daniel Coyle spent four years visiting and researching eight of the world’s most successful groups, “including a special-ops military unit, an inner-city school, a professional basketball team, a movie studio, a comedy troupe, and a gang of jewel thieves,” he writes in The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups.
“When you ask people inside highly successful groups to describe their relationship with one another, they all tend to choose the same word,” Daniel notes.
It’s not “friends.”
It’s not “team.”
Or “tribe.”
The word they use is “family.”
Also, the people who are part of these teams tend to describe those relationships similarly.
“I can’t explain it, but things just feel right. I’ve actually tried to quit a couple times, but I keep coming back to it. There’s not feeling like it. These guys are my brothers.” (Christopher Baldwin, U.S. Navy’s SEAL Team Six).
“It’s not rational. Nobody who’s purely rational about it does the kinds of things that happen here. There’s a teamwork that goes way beyond team and overlaps into the rest of people’s lives.” (Joe Negron, KIPP charter schools).
“It’s a rush, knowing that you can take a huge risk and these people will be there to support you no matter what. We are addicted to that feeling.” (Nate Dern, Upright Citizens Brigade comedy troupe).
“We are all about being a familial group, because it allows you to take more risks, give each other permission, and have moments of vulnerability that you could never have in a more normal setting.” (Duane Bray, IDEO design).
2: Daniel notices that inside these groups was “a distinct pattern of interaction.” It wasn’t the big things they did. It was in the little moments of interaction.
“These interactions were consistent whether the group was a military unit or a movie studio or an inner-city school,” Daniel writes.
He made a list:
- Close physical proximity, often in circles
- Profuse amounts of eye contact
- Physical touch (handshakes, fist bumps, hugs)
- Lots of short, energetic exchanges (no long speeches)
- High levels of mixing; everyone talks to everyone
- Few interruptions
- Lots of questions
- Intensive, active listening
- Humor, laughter
- Small, attentive courtesies (thank-yous, opening doors, etc.)
3: The final thing he noticed?
“I found that spending time inside these groups was almost physically addictive,” he writes. “I would extend my reporting trips, inventing excuses to stick around for another day or two. I found myself daydreaming about changing occupations so I could apply for a job with them. There was something irresistible about being around these groups that made me crave more connection.”
What’s the term for this feeling?
Chemistry.
When we come across a group with good chemistry, we know it immediately. “It’s a paradoxical, powerful sensation, a combination of excitement and deep comfort that sparks mysteriously with certain groups and not with others.”
This week, we’ll continue exploring the first driver of highly-engaged cultures: Psychological safety.
More tomorrow!
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Reflection: Think back on a group I was part of that was uber-successful. Describe how that team interacted.
Action: Focus on creating psychological safety today in my interactions with my team.
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