1: The research shows that “couples who regularly make time to do new and exciting things together—like hiking, skiing, dancing, or attending concerts and plays—have better-quality marriages,” Barbara Fredrickson writes in her book Love 2.0: Creating Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection.
What’s going on here?
Barbara is a scientist. And science tells us love is an emotion. But not just any emotion. It is the “supreme emotion,” Barbara writes. Because “its presence or absence in our lives influences everything we feel, think, do, and become.”
Scientifically speaking, “Love is the micro-moment of warmth and connection that we share with another living being,” she notes.
2: Barbara believes we have an opportunity to “upgrade our vision of love” to create more of these moments of warmth and connection.
That, then, becomes our goal. To experience love by spending time with our spouse doing fun and inspiring activities together.
“These new lenses,” she observes, “change the way we see your more intimate relationships with family and friends.” Because we are now better equipped to take advantage of the previously missed opportunities to connect.
Love “is something we should recultivate every morning, every afternoon, and every evening,” Barbara notes. We are motivated to “reach out for a hug more often or share an inspiring or silly idea or image over breakfast.
“In these small ways, we plant additional seeds of love that help our bodies, our well-being, and our marriage to grow stronger.”
3: The benefits of this approach go beyond happier marriages.
“Love, as it turns out, nourishes our bodies the way the right balance of sunlight, nutrient-rich soil, and water nourishes plants and allows them to flourish,” Barbara writes.
“The more we experience it, the more we open up and grow, becoming wiser and more attuned, more resilient and effective, happier and healthier. . .
“When we experience love—true heart/mind/soul-expanding love—we not only become better able to see the larger tapestry of life and better able to breathe life into the connections that matter to us, but also set ourselves on a pathway that leads to more health, happiness, and wisdom.”
More tomorrow.
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Reflection: How might I create more moments of warmth and connection in my marriage or other meaningful relationships?
Action: Do it!
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