1: You’re angry. Lately, it feels like Phil keeps leaving the toughest or most unpleasant tasks for you to handle.

How do you respond?

You vent to your friends about always being the one who has to clean up the messes.

But what is it that you don’t mention?

“That you smile broadly when your boss compliments you for your willingness to take on challenging jobs,” Joseph Grenny and his … continue reading

1: Imagine being faced with a crucial conversation.

The stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong.

Still, instead of engaging in productive dialogue, you shut down or lash out.

“Rather than engaging in productive dialogue, you either shut down or push back,” Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory write in their classic book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When … continue reading

1: Marion spent 25 years working for the same organization.

“I was one move away from a cabinet-level position,” he recalls.

“However, no matter how many times I applied and interviewed for such positions, I was never selected.”

Being passed over made him mad.

So, what did he do next? He started telling himself what the authors of Crucial Conversations call “clever stories.”

“Clever stories justify our actions. They conveniently … continue reading

1: “It’s a shame that everyone else is an idiot,” Tynan writes in Superhuman by Habit.

Pause.

“Of course, it’s important to remember that to everyone else, you are the idiot.”

It all begins when we realize that being positive toward others is a habit we can develop.

Tynan tells a story about a disagreement he had with a cruise ship staff member after he felt he was charged … continue reading

1: What if the fastest way to make progress isn’t focusing on your bad days—but keeping score of your good ones?

Six months after suffering a concussion, Jane McGonigal was still living with postconcussion syndrome.  “It didn’t heal properly,” Jane writes in her book SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully.

The headaches “were bad enough that I was taking the maximum safe dosage of pain relievers almost every day,” … continue reading

1: Today, most games keep score automatically.

“At the bowling alley, computers tally points. Online Scrabble calculates your word scores for you. Video games track your experience points and level you up without any effort on your part,” Jane McGonigal writes in her book SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully.

But when you’re working toward big goals, keeping score yourself can really help you succeed.

For the past two … continue reading

1: Meg was in a bad place.

“I hated my job, and I saw little hope of anything in the future,” she recalls in Jane McGonigal‘s book SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully.

At twenty-six, Meg was living in Boston and working for a large company that didn’t share her values.

“I took the chance to sign up for SuperBetter,” she recalls.

A key element of the SuperBetter … continue reading

1: When it comes to setting big goals, what game designer Jane McGonigal calls “Epic Wins,” why are physical or athletic triumphs so motivating?

“If you search the SuperBetter database for all the epic wins from more than 400,000 players,” Jane writes in her book SuperBetter, four of the ten most commonly appearing verbs are walk, run, exercise, and dance. (Other top epic win verbs include finish, find, and … continue reading

1: How do you react when something bad happens in your life?

“Your knee-jerk reaction to bad events can be to only see, and to dwell on, the negative, giving you a biased view that can affect your mood and paralyze you from acting,” Tynan writes in his book Superhuman by Habit.

When you think about positive, healthy habits, chances are your brain immediately focuses on work and productivity … continue reading

1: After thirty-five years of research on goal-setting, it all comes down to this:

Harder goals inspire greater effort.

There is, however, a caveat,  Jane McGonigal writes in her book SuperBetter. “As long as the goal is not absolutely and obviously beyond a person’s control or ability.”

That’s the rub. Harder goals are better. As long as they aren’t too hard.

Here’s another key point about goal-setting: “Go only … continue reading