1: How do you react when something bad happens in your life?
“Your knee-jerk reaction to bad events can be to only see, and to dwell on, the negative, giving you a biased view that can affect your mood and paralyze you from acting,” Tynan writes in his book Superhuman by Habit.
When you think about positive, healthy habits, chances are your brain immediately focuses on work and productivity habits.
“Few people think of general outlook as something that is controlled by habit,” Tynan writes.
“Building positivity towards yourself,” he notes, “is the process of drastically increasing the portion of your time you consider yourself to be happy, minimizing the emotional toll of ‘bad’ events, and maintaining an even, positive mood.”
The surprising part?
“The effect of this habit is huge compared to the amount of effort it takes,” he notes, “making it a pretty easy choice for just about anyone.”
Yes, your circumstances influence how you feel.
But it’s your response to those events that ultimately shapes your outlook.
“This sounds like new age hogwash, but it is real and has a profound effect,” Tynan explains.
As Viktor Frankl once said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Over time, that habit can dramatically change how you experience life.
2: Becoming positive is surprisingly simple.
It is “a one-habit job that takes one to three months,” he notes.
“You will notice a difference after one month, but it will have built so gradually that you may discount it’s effectiveness.”
It’s like getting laser eye surgery. Two months afterward, you can’t remember what it was like to have poor vision as the blessing of having perfect eyesight fades away.
Here’s how it works: “From now on, every time you have any negative thought, simply think of one positive aspect of the situation,” Tynan teaches.
“The positive aspect doesn’t have to be equal in magnitude to the negative aspects; it just has to exist.
“For example,” he writes, “if your car gets towed, you can think about how now you’ll get credit card miles when you pay for the tow.
“If your girlfriend breaks up with you,” Tynan notes, “you can think about how you’ve just increased the chances that you’ll end up with someone even better.”
This isn’t about pretending bad things didn’t happen or forcing yourself to be positive all the time.
“Just search for it, find it, and move on,” he recommends.
3: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about. Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. At the end of each week, we’re exploring Tynan’s book Superhuman by Habit, which covers how to install specific, positive habits in our lives.
Be warned: Being positive toward yourself may feel a bit awkward at first. Don’t let that discourage you from continuing with the habit.
“Remember that if you’ve committed to this habit,” Tynan writes, “you should not quit in the loading phase where there are no benefits but there is effort required.”
If you stick with it for a couple of weeks, it will become almost automatic.
“Remain vigilant and make sure that you’re still doing it,” he suggests. “After two or three months you will have trained your brain to automatically come up with the positives.”
Here’s the long-term payoff: “The result is that it feels like nothing bad ever happens to you,” he observes. “I can objectively think of negative things that happen to me, but my immediate instinct is now to think, ‘Yeah, but that’s not so bad. And besides, this other good thing happened to me.'”
Tynan reflects: “In my experience, this habit doesn’t require much maintenance. I did it for three months, and ten years later am still optimistic and happy all of the time.”
More next week!
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Reflection: What recent disappointment or frustration might contain one positive aspect you haven’t noticed yet?
Action: The next time something goes wrong today, pause and identify one genuine positive that came from the situation—then move on.
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