1: Dr. Mike noticed something was changing with his patients. As a pediatrician, he had a busy, demanding schedule.
“I have noticed,” he emailed Dr. Daniel Friedland, “I am seeing patients who are much more tolerant of me being late. Also, they are happier with the advice I give.”
The kicker? “Patients seem more likely to follow the advice given,” he wrote.
What’s going on here? What is causing this change?
Dr. Mike had a flash of insight: “It is not the patients that are changing, but me.”
He had just completed a program and coaching sessions with Dr. Daniel Friedland, author of Leading Well from Within: A Neuroscience and Mindfulness-Based Framework for Conscious Leadership.
“I’m coming off as less stressful, and that is being reflected back to me by patients and family,” Mike reflects.
At the heart of Danny’s approach to life is a four-part framework. Each step builds upon the prior one.
A) Recognize rather than react to the reactivity of others
B) Understand what triggers stress and self-doubt in ourselves and in others
C) Clarify and appreciate what’s truly important to us and those we care about
D) Stay aligned and reestablish our connection when life goes off track
2: This week, we will focus on how Danny’s approach specifically benefits our relationships.
It begins with awareness. We can be intentional about increasing our self-awareness and social intelligence. As we shift our physiology “from a reactive threat response to a more creative challenge response or tend-and-befriend response, it inevitably changes how others experience [us],” Danny writes.
Because Dr. Mike was more present, relaxed, and energized, his patients and their families became so too.
And it doesn’t stop there. Not only were their interactions more positive, but the research shows empathetic care also results in greater health and healing.
Several studies have analyzed patients with colds. “Just before doctors went into the patient’s room, they received a packet with the type of care they were assigned to give,” Danny writes. “The ‘standard’ packet included the basic ingredients of a clinical encounter and focused on the physical exam and diagnosis.
“The ‘enhanced’ packet included the above with additional instructions to take the time to strongly empathize and connect with patients, communicate a positive prognosis, and educate and empower them to take care of themselves.”
“Individuals who perceived their care to be “perfectly empathetic” had colds of both a shorter duration and lesser intensity,” Danny recounts. “One study showed that this care altered the patients’ immune response.”
3: As we’ve seen in the past Rise With Drew’s, this approach also applies in business settings as well. Acclaimed New York City restaurateur Danny Meyer observes that waiters and other staff are typically trained to “be of service.” Which he believes is different from providing hospitality.
“Service is a monologue,” Danny Meyer says. Waiters are “just trained to rotely serve the client. Hospitality is a dialogue” where we more fully engage with our clients.
“Hospitality is a cycle of receiving and giving,” writes Danny Friedland. First, we receive by listening deeply and anticipating the client’s needs. Then, we give back in “authentic and truly caring ways to exceed their expectations.”
This cycle of creativity applies to any business. And with all of our relationships, both personal and professional.
Reflection: Take some time to think about how I’m showing up in life – both at work and at home. When do I show up as hurried, stressed, and reactive?
Action: Journal my answers to the question above.