Peter D. Kaufman understands dogs.
“So when your dog is in the backyard and he goes to the fence between your house and the next house and he talks to the dog next door, I’m going to tell you what he says,” Peter says.
“Your dog says to the dog next door, ‘Can you believe how easy it is to manipulate human beings and get them to do whatever you want them to do for you?’
“And the dog next door goes, ‘I know, it’s a piece of cake.’”
“And your dog says, “Yeah. All you have to do is every single time they come home, you greet them at the door with the biggest unconditional show of attention they’ve ever gotten in their whole life.
“And you only have to do it for like fifteen seconds, and then you can go back to doing whatever you were doing before and completely ignore them for the rest of the evening.”
And how do us human beings respond?
We will “do anything for this dog,” Peter observes. We love our dogs. We love taking care of them.
And, we can learn from our canine friends.
What would happen if we used our new-found dog wisdom when our loved ones come home?
Good things, Peter tells us.
There are three things we have to do if we “want everything in life from everybody else.”
All we have to do is (1) go positive, (2) go first, and (3) be patient.
First: Go positive. “Pay attention; listen to them; show them respect; give them meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Convey to them that they matter to you. And show you love them,” notes Peter.
Second: Go first. Don’t wait for the other person to initiate.
Third: Be consistent. We have to do it every single time.
What will be get back?
“Mirrored reciprocation,” says Peter.
Go positive. Go first. Be consistent.
Reflection: Think about an important relationship in our lives.
Action: Go positive. Go first. Be consistent.