1: Why do some seniors thrive in nursing homes while others experience rapid physical and mental declines?
The answer may surprise you.
Those who flourish tend to be those who rebel “against the rigid schedules, set menus, and strict rules that the nursing homes tried to force upon them,” Charles Duhigg writes in Smarter Faster Better: The Transformative Power of Real Productivity.
What do researchers call this group? The “subversives.”
“Because so many of their decisions manifested as small rebellions against the status quo,” Charles notes.
Exhibit one: A group of seniors at a Santa Fe nursing home who started every meal by trading food items among themselves to create their own meals rather than simply accept what had been served.
One resident told a researcher that he always gave his cake away because, even though he liked cake, he would “rather eat a second-class meal that I have chosen.”
“It’s the difference between making decisions that prove to yourself that you’re still in charge of your life, versus falling into a mindset where you’re just waiting to die,” says Rosalie Kane, a gerontologist at the University of Minnesota.
“It doesn’t really matter if you eat cake or not,” she adds. “But if you refuse to eat their cake, you’re demonstrating to yourself that you’re still in charge.”
Exhibit two: Seniors at a nursing home in Little Rock violated the institution’s rules by moving furniture around to personalize their bedrooms.
“Because wardrobes were attached to the walls,” Charles shares, “they used a crowbar—appropriated from a tool closet—to wrench their dressers free.”
An administrator called a meeting to say that the staff was happy to assist.
“The residents informed the administrator,” Charles writes, “that they didn’t want any assistance, didn’t need permission, and intended to continue doing whatever they damn well pleased.”
These “small acts of defiance” are “psychologically powerful,” he notes, “because the subversives saw the rebellions as evidence that they were still in control of their own lives.”
When researchers reviewed the data, the subversives “walked, on average, about twice as much as other nursing home residents. They ate about a third more. They were better at complying with doctors’ orders, taking their medications, visiting the gym, and maintaining relationships with family and friends.”
Was this group simply healthier when they entered their nursing homes?
Actually, no. They entered “with just as many health problems as their peers,” Charles explains. “But once inside, they lived longer, reported higher levels of happiness, and were far more active and intellectually engaged.”
2: The lesson here does not just apply to seniors.
It’s easy to get it backward. Many people think they need to be more self-motivated to take charge and make decisions.
In reality, it’s the reverse. Making a decision increases self-motivation.
“Self-help books and leadership manuals often portray self-motivation as a static feature of our personality,” Charles observes.
“But scientists say motivation is more complicated than that. Motivation is more like a skill, akin to reading or writing, that can be learned and honed.”
Anyone can learn practical techniques to increase self-motivation.
“The trick,” Charles writes, “is realizing that a prerequisite to motivation is believing we have authority over our actions and surroundings.”
Yesterday [hyperlink], we looked at how the Marine Corps has changed basic training to force new recruits to make decisions.
Why? The research shows that the best Marines had a strong “internal locus of control”—a belief that they could influence their lives through the choices they made.
“Once people know how to make self-directed choices into a habit,” he observes, “motivation becomes more automatic.”
It’s a reinforcing cycle. When you feel in control, you become more motivated.
“The need for control is a biological imperative,” a group of Columbia University psychologists wrote in the journal Trends in Cognitive Sciences in 2010. “When people believe they are in control, they tend to work harder and push themselves more.
“They are, on average, more confident and overcome setbacks faster. People who believe they have authority over themselves often live longer than their peers.”
This desire for control is so deep that once infants learn to feed themselves, they resist a parent’s help. They do this even if they get less food.
When you make a decision, you prove to yourself that you are in control. “Each choice—no matter how small—reinforces the perception of control and self-efficacy,” the Columbia researchers note.
This theory of motivation shows that the “first step in creating drive,” Charles explains, “is giving people opportunities to make choices that provide them with a sense of autonomy and self-determination.”
To motivate yourself or others, focus on finding opportunities, however small, to exert control.
“If you are struggling to answer a tedious stream of emails,” he writes, “decide to reply to one from the middle of your inbox. If you’re trying to start an assignment, write the conclusion first, or start by making the graphics, or do whatever’s most interesting to you.
“To find the motivation to confront an unpleasant employee, choose where the meeting is going to occur.
“To start the next sales call,” Charles suggests, “decide what question you’ll ask first.
“Motivation is triggered by making choices that demonstrate to ourselves that we are in control. The specific choice we make matters less than the assertion of control. It’s this feeling of self-determination that gets us going.”
Which is how your internal locus of control becomes stronger. You experience how good it feels to be in control.
The converse is also true. If we don’t practice self-determination, our capacity for self-motivation can fade.
3: Building on this, another tip to boost self-motivation is to ask yourself: “Why” whenever you start a new task or chore.
You can teach yourself to self-motivate by seeing how your choices connect to your values and goals.
“Once you start asking why, those small tasks become pieces of a larger constellation of meaningful projects, goals, and values,” Charles writes.
When we ask why, we understand how small tasks can have “outsized emotional rewards,” he notes, “because they prove that you are making meaningful choices, that you are genuinely in control of your life.”
As in, “Why are you forcing yourself to climb up this hill?
“Why are you pushing yourself to walk away from the television?
“Why is it so important to return that email or deal with a coworker whose requests seem so unimportant?”
Self-motivation flourishes when you make a choice and clarify why something is important.
Replying to an email or helping a colleague may not feel important. But doing it as part of a larger project or purpose provides real motivation.
“Self-motivation,” he notes, “is a choice you make because it is part of something bigger and more emotionally rewarding than the immediate task that needs doing.”
You can optimize self-motivation by making decisions, which lead to feelings of control, and by clarifying why something matters to you. The lesson: Motivation is built by acting with autonomy and understanding your purpose.
“Choosing to climb a mountain can become an articulation of love for a daughter [hyperlink to yesterday],” Charles writes. “Deciding to stage a nursing home insurrection can become proof that you’re still alive.”
More tomorrow!
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Reflection: Where in my life have I slipped into reacting to circumstances instead of actively making choices that reinforce my sense of control and purpose?
Action: Choose one task today I have been procrastinating on. Before beginning, ask: “Why does this matter?” Then make one small decision about how I will approach it.
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