1: Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius lived a hard, difficult life.
“He was not strong in body,” the Roman historian Dio Cassius writes, “and was involved in a multitude of troubles throughout practically his entire reign.”
Marcus was surrounded by death and dying.
He lost his father when he was three. In 149 AD, when he was twenty-eight, “he lost newborn twin boys,” Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman write in their book Lives of the Stoics.
“In 151, he lost his firstborn daughter, Domitia Faustina. In 152, another son, Tiberius Aelius Antoninus, died in infancy.
“That same year, Marcus’s sister Cornificia died. Shortly after, Marcus’s mother, Domitia Lucilla, died.
“In 158, another son, whose name is unknown, died. In 161, he lost his adoptive father, Antoninus Pius. In 165, another son, Titus Aurelius Fulvus Antoninus (twin brother of Commodus), died. In 169, he lost his son Verus, a sweet boy, during what was supposed to be routine surgery, whom he had hoped would rule alongside Commodus, as he had ruled with his own brother.
“That same year he lost that brother—his co-emperor—Lucius Verus. He would lose his wife of thirty-five years not long after.”
Only five of his thirteen children would survive into adulthood.
As Roman Emperor, twelve years of his life were spent at the Roman Empire’s northern boundary along the Danube River, fighting long, savage wars.
And he reigned during the time of the Antonine Plague—”a global pandemic that originated in the Far East, spread mercilessly across borders, and claimed the lives of at least five million people over fifteen years,” Ryan and Stephen write.
Writing about this time in Marcus’s life, Donald Robertson notes in his book How to Think Like a Roman Emperor, “Since he did not flee Rome as many other wealthy citizens did during the plague, Marcus woke up to a surreal-smelling city—a mixture of the putrid smell of dead bodies and the sweet aroma of incense.”
Many Romans believed the burning of incense would protect their family from falling ill.
So, “for over a decade,” Donald writes, “the scent of smoke of incense [was] a reminder to Marcus that he was living under the shadow of death and that survival from one day to the next should never be taken for granted.”
2: Marcus’s writings in his book Meditations reveal his state of mind: “Think of yourself as dead,” he writes. “You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly,” and “You could leave life right now, let that determine what you do and say and think.”
Marcus’s insights here reflect his stoic mindset.
He “believed that plagues and war could only threaten our life,” Ryan and Stephen observe. “What we need to protect is our character—how we act within these wars and plagues and life’s other setbacks. And to abandon character? That’s real evil.”
Studying Marcus Aurelius, there is a temptation to believe he was “somehow different,” the authors note, “made of special stock that made his many difficult decisions easier.”
This impression is elevated by the perception that the Stoics were somehow “beyond pain, beyond material desire, beyond bodily desires,” they write.
Simply not true.
“Underneath this learning and character, he was still a human being,” Ryan and Stephen note. He “felt the same pain and losses and frustrations that everyone feels. We’re told quite vividly by the Historia Augusta that Marcus wept when he was told that his favorite tutor had passed away.
“We know that he cried one day in court when he was overseeing a case, and the attorney mentioned the countless souls who perished in the plague still ravaging Rome.
“We can imagine Marcus cried many other times,” they write. “This was a man who was betrayed by one of his most trusted generals. This was a man who one day lost his wife of thirty-five years. This was a man who lost eight children, including all but one of his sons.
“Marcus didn’t weep because he was weak. He didn’t weep because he was un-Stoic. He cried because he was human. Because these very painful experiences made him sad.”
3: We also know there were times when he got angry. Because he wrote in Meditations (which was never intended for publication) about the need to control his temper.
We know that he lusted,” Ryan and Stephen write, “we know that he feared, we know that he fantasized about his rivals disappearing.”
“Start praying like this and you’ll see,” he wrote to himself. “Not ‘some way to sleep with her’—but a way to stop wanting to. Not ‘some way to get rid of him’—but a way of stop trying. Not ‘some way to save my child’—but a way to lose your fear.”
Marcus wasn’t perfect. But he was intentional about trying to live a Stoic life. He worked hard at it. He was purposeful.
As can we.
He wrote about the “malice, cunning and hypocrisy that power produces” and the “peculiar ruthlessness often shown by people from ‘good families’. . .
“Take care not be Caesarified, or dyed in purple,” he was still writing to himself later in his life, “it happens. So keep yourself simple, good, pure, serious, unpretentious, a friend of justice, godfearing, kind, full of affection, strong for your proper work. Strive hard to remain the same man that philosophers wished to make you.”
Ryan and Stephen reference the “the wife of George Marshall, another great man of equal stature, in describing her husband would capture what made Marcus Aurelius so truly impressive:
“In many of the articles and interviews I have read about General Marshall the writers speak of his retiring nature and his modesty. . . . No, I do not think I would call my husband retiring or overly modest. I think he is well aware of his powers, but I also think this knowledge is tempered by a sense of humility and selflessness such as I have seen in few strong men.”
Marcus would not want us “shamed by his example,” the authors note, but to be cognizant of our power and capabilities: “Recognize that if it’s humanly possible,” he said both to us and to himself, “you can do it too.”
More tomorrow!
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Reflection: Am I facing a difficult situation? How would Marcus Aurelius have handled it?
Action: Journal about my answer.
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