1: This was no ordinary rental car.
Jeremie Kubicek sat on the right side of the car, staring at the steering wheel in front of him.
An American raised in Oklahoma, Jeremie had just moved to England, making every aspect of daily life—including driving—a new adventure.
“Learning to drive on what the English call the correct side of the road is one thing,” he writes in The 5 Gears: How to Be Present and Productive When There is Never Enough Time, the book he co-authored with Steve Cockram.
“But adding a left-handed gear shift to the equation made driving on the opposite side of the road even more challenging, given how intently I had to focus on shifting as we drove on the tiny lanes of London.”
He describes the experience as “grinding gears, close calls, lurching motions, and terror—I mean, excitement.”
2: In time, it struck Jeremie that driving a manual transmission car has some similarities to the “rhythms and routines of our lives,” he writes.
“There is a right order and a right time for each gear. Conversely, there is also a wrong gear and a wrong time.
“People who figure this out tend to drive smoothly and effectively,” Jeremie notes. “People who don’t shift well tend to cause damage to all those around them—people and vehicles. . .
“There is a right time and a right place for each gear. 1st gear is meant to lead to 2nd and so forth.
“Each gear has a purpose,” he notes, “and if you understand the purpose and apply this driving analogy to the way you ‘drive’ your life, aligning the right gear with the right speed and situation of your day will allow you to have a smooth journey.”
What happens if you skip a gear?
“You may rev to screaming levels and cause the engine of your life all sorts of problems,” Jeremie observes.
The 5 Gears is the central metaphor of Jeremie and Steve’s book.
“Most European cars have a manual gearbox, while most American vehicles have an automatic transmission,” they note. “In both cases there are gears that start in 1st gear and shift through until you reach 5th gear.”
Applying the metaphor, they suggest: “To lead yourself well and connect appropriately in your relationships, your day needs to begin in 1st gear, after which you shift up into other gears.”
“You can go from 1st gear to 5th in life, but it is not recommended and the consequences can be damaging, just like with your car.”
The best drivers know when to shift. So do the best leaders.
In life, 1st gear represents time spent fully recharging. 2nd gear is when you connect personally and intentionally with family, friends, or colleagues in meaningful one-on-one interactions.
3rd gear is focused on socializing and enjoying time with groups in relaxed settings. 4th gear is for getting work done while managing multiple tasks or responsibilities at once. 5th gear is when you are in deep focus mode, working without interruption or distraction to maximize productivity.
Reverse is another gear, used when you need to pause, back up, apologize, or start again in your interactions or routines.
3: The key takeaway?
“Each gear has its own purpose and place,” the authors note. “Once you learn to use the gears consistently with those in your life, you will notice the common language that begins to form, enabling objectivity to characterize your conversation instead of the subjective judgment or condescension that becomes pervasive when each person is speaking a different ‘language.'”
In sum, the 5 Gears (plus reverse) serve as practical tools to improve your life and relationships.
“If you are experiencing frustration in any of your relationships, this is a clue as to what category you are currently in,” Jeremie and Steve note. “Learning these gears is the key to helping you connect with people in the right way and to eliminate socially awkward situations, and even begin to repair damaged relationships.”
Looking back, Jeremie reflects: “It took me a few years to master the art of driving a five-speed, eventually shifting the stick shift with ease and grace.
“It has taken me much longer to learn how to shift the actual relational gears in my life and become consistent,” he shares. “And the progress I have made has not come without constant practice and intentionality in matching my gear to the context of the situation.”
More tomorrow!
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Reflection: Am I operating in the right gear for this season, situation, or conversation—or am I trying to force my life into the wrong gear?
Action: Pay attention to my “gear shifts” this week. Notice when I need to move from productivity to relationships, from social interaction to focused work, or from activity to recovery.
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