1: The trial is coming to an end. The time has come for the prosecutor to deliver the final summation to the jury.
Here’s what you won’t hear: “Based on what we’ve seen with our own eyes and what we’ve heard with our own ears, this person is guilty,” Erik Peterson and Tim Riesterer write in their book Conversations That Win the Complex Sale.
Instead, here’s what the prosecutor will say: “Based on what you’ve seen with your own eyes and what you’ve heard with your own ears, this person is guilty.”
2: Notice the subtle shift between the examples. This change in phrasing is an example of the power of “you” phrasing.
“You” phrasing builds engagement and creates ownership with the customer. Using the word “you” transfers ownership to the listener.
Turns out it applies to all forms of messaging. Including sales.
Why is “you” phrasing so impactful? Because it puts the prospect at the center of the story. It transforms the listener from a passive passenger into an active participant. “You phrasing pulls your prospect into the story you are telling,” the authors note.
How do you take this theory and turn it into action? You can start by asking “What if you . . . questions.”
“Now who owns solving the problem?” Erik and Tim ask. “When you use you phrasing, you are helping your prospect’s unconscious mind feel as if it’s already participating in the solution. . .
“And once that happens, you get a measurable impact.”
One of the first studies to measure the impact of “you” phrasing occurred back in 1982. Researchers in Tempe, Arizona, went door-to-door to conduct a survey to test attitudes toward cable television.
“Cable was very new at the time,” Erik and Tim explain.
Some people were given this information: “CATV will provide a broader entertainment and informational service to its subscribers. Used properly, a person can plan in advance to enjoy events offered. Instead of spending money on the babysitter and gas, and putting up with the hassles of ‘going out,’ more time can be spent at home with family, alone, or with friends.”
Another group was given the same information, but this time with “you” phrasing: “Take a moment and imagine how CATV will provide you with a broader entertainment and informational service. When you use it properly, you will be able to plan in advance which of the events offered you wish to enjoy.
“Take a moment,” they were told, “and think of how, instead of spending money on the babysitter and gas, and then having to put up with the hassles of ‘going out,’ you will be able to spend your time at home, with your family, alone, or with your friends.”
The difference in the words used was subtle. The impact of the change was anything but.
“Over the next six weeks, all of the subjects were contacted by company salespeople (who weren’t told of the experiment) as part of CATV’s standard door-to-door marketing,” the authors share.
“Those who heard the you-phrasing description of the service subscribed 47 percent of the time,” they note. “The control group subscribed only 20 percent of the time.”
The bottom line: “The simple use of one small word, you, had doubled the number of sales in this experiment.”
3: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about.
Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. At the end of each week, I share something I’m working on.
If you are a regular reader of RiseWithDrew, you may have noticed that I leaned heavily on “we” phrasing. Ever since reading Erik and Tim’s book, I’ve made the switch to “you” phrasing.
Not being aware of the research, perhaps it’s not surprising that many sales training courses teach you to use “we” phrasing, as it sounds friendlier.
Example: “When we want to insert a picture into Microsoft Word, first we click the Insert tab, then we click on Picture, then we browse for the file that we want to add, and finally, we click the Insert button.”
But, “who is we? Me, you, or us?” the authors ask. “A bit confusing, isn’t it?”
“Either way, Erik and Tim write, “it subconsciously gives your customer permission to keep her distance, sit back, and disengage from your message.”
Another insight: “Outside of selling, people don’t use we phrasing much at all,” they observe.
One of the only exceptions is when you are talking to a child. As in, “So, Jimmy, how are we doing today?”
“But, do you really want to treat your customer like a child?”
The other situation where we hear “we” phrasing is when you are in the hospital. “If you’ve ever been in a hospital bed and had a nurse or doctor walk into your room, at some point you’ve heard him say, ‘So, how are we doing today?’
“And if you’ve ever been the one lying in that bed, you’ve probably felt like saying, ‘I don’t know how we are doing today, but I’m in a hospital bed. Maybe you could up my meds a bit.;”
To put this into practice, here are some common phrases that would benefit from “you” phrasing.
Instead of saying, “What I’m going to show you. . . ,” try “What you’ll see . . .”
Instead of saying, “The system allows you to . . . ,” try “What you’ll be able to do is . . .”
Instead of saying, “Next, I’m going to . . . ,” try “Next, you’ll be able to . . .”
Instead of saying, “We need to be able to . . . ,” try “You need to be able to . . .”
Instead of saying, “What if I could show you . . . ,” try “What if you could . . .”
The bottom line? “Switching to you phrasing makes a huge difference with your audience,” Erik and Tim note, “It’s a simple change with enormous results.”
The authors provide a word of caution: “Just like any powerful tool, if you use it poorly, it could cause you some problems. In particular, what you don’t want to do with you phrasing is transfer blame to your customers.” Noted.
More next week!
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Reflection: Am I unintentionally creating distance in my messaging by using “we” instead of putting the focus on you?
Action: Review one key message or conversation today and rewrite it using “you” phrasing to increase clarity and engagement.
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