1: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about.
Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. On Friday, I share something about myself or what we are working on at PCI.
One of my goals for the year is to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with the people I love and care about.
How do we have a great conversation? We listen well.
2: What is one of the biggest mistakes we make? former lead FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss asks.
Being so preoccupied with our thoughts and feelings, the arguments supporting our position, that we fail to listen attentively.
Instead, we “make our sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say,” he suggests.
It sounds simple. But it’s not.
“It’s really not that easy to listen well,” Chris observes. “We are easily distracted. We engage in selective listening, hearing only what we want to hear, our minds acting on cognitive bias for consistency rather than truth.”
Instead, we focus all of our energy and attention on the other person.
3: How does it feel when someone gives us 100% of their attention?
It feels amazing!
When we listen well, the person begins to feel “safe enough to talk about what they want,” writes Chris.
Again, we listen, “validating their emotions, and creating enough trust and safety for a real conversation to begin,” Chris writes.
More next week!
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Reflection: Think back on a recent important conversation. Was I focused on what I was feeling, what I wanted to say? Or was I intentional about understanding what the other person was saying or feeling?
Action: Experiment today with listening well.
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