This week, we’ve been exploring cancer and cancer treatment as outlined by Dr. Peter Attia in his book Outlive. Many of us have been impacted by cancer.
Below are eight reflections from my friend, mentor, and coach, Dr. Danny Friedland, who passed away 2 1/2 years ago after a year-long battle with brain cancer.
Following Danny’s death, a moving memorial service was held in his backyard. Here are eight brief reflections.
1: “Live a loving life” was Danny’s invitation to all who knew him. His purpose was to “scale” the giving of love. He encouraged us to say “I love you” to more of the people we love and care about. I will.
2: Danny’s preferred way to greet someone was to give them a hug. But not just any hug. He preferred to hug on the left side rather than the customary right because doing so makes it heart-to-heart. Try it.
3: Danny focused all his attention on you when he spoke with you. He was fully present and fully engaged. That is one of the most important goals of my life.
4: Danny approached every conversation with an open heart. He began each interaction by sharing his heartfelt appreciation for the other person, group, or gathering. Such a powerful way of being in the world.
5: “Pause. Notice. Choose,” Danny would say. There is a big difference between reacting to circumstances and choosing our response to them.
6: When his sons came to him with a problem or challenge, Danny didn’t give them an answer. Instead, he provided a framework to enable them to make their own decisions—parenting at its best.
7: His younger son said during his eulogy, “My dad always wanted to be with me. He always wanted to spend time with me. He wanted to love me.” So beautiful. A high bar for all of us as parents.
8: When his older son asked how he could carry his legacy and make Danny proud, he answered, “You already are. All I ask is that you live a loving life.”
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Reflection: What does it mean to live a loving life?
Action: Do it.
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