1: Getting better at getting better is what RiseWithDrew is all about.
Monday through Thursday, we explore ideas from authors, thought leaders, and exemplary organizations. On Friday, I share something about myself or what we are working on at PCI.
In past weeks, we’ve been exploring the idea of the GAP and the GAIN, as outlined in the book of the same name by Dan Sullivan and Ben Hardy.
How easy it is to measure where we are now versus our ideal of where we wish we were.
Rather than appreciating all the progress we’ve made.
Thinking this way makes us unhappy.
2: But that’s not all of it. The impact of GAP living is much more far-reaching.
We can also be in the GAP about other people. We see their shortcomings. Their flaws.
Ben shares the story of his oldest son. “He’s an incredible young man. We first met him as a 7-year-old boy living in a group home. He’s been living with us ever since, and he’s one of my favorite people.
“Every once in a while, he tries to weasel his way out of chores or schoolwork. This may be typical for a young child, but this has been a trigger for me, and when I see him doing it, I can get pretty frustrated with him.
“Why are you always trying to get out of stuff?!” Ben barks.
How does Ben’s son react when he’s treated this way?
He shuts down emotionally. “He later told me it feels like I only see his faults,” Ben recalls.
“When I’m in the GAP about my son, I’m measuring him against where I wish he was as a person. I’m measuring his behavior against my ideals. By seeing my son through the lens of the GAP, all I can see are his flaws. I don’t see him for who he truly is, right now.
“I don’t see his growth,” Ben observes. “I don’t see his progress.”
Which has been immense.
When Ben is in the GAP regarding his son, “I become a tyrant and a bully [him], rather than his biggest fan and supporter.”
3: Ben’s story really moved me. My wife Carey and I have a blended family with six kids, ages 14 to 26.
We joke that our lives often resemble playing a game of Wack-a-mole. Every time we turn around, a new situation presents itself. As soon as that one is dealt with, here comes another.
It’s easy to see the GAP in other people. The difference between where they are now and where we want them to be. With our kids. With our spouse. With our colleagues and team members.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Instead, we can choose to focus on the progress they’ve made, the growth they’ve experienced, and the success they’ve achieved.
In short, we can focus on the GAIN.
Deciding to focus on the GAINS in our lives transforms how we show up in the world.
“When I first learned The GAP and The GAIN,” Ben notes, “I immediately started using it and it changed my life. It changed how I approach my work, my team, and, most importantly, my family.”
That can be us.
More next week!
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Reflection: How do I typically measure my progress? Do I measure where I am against my ideal? Or backward from where I started?
Action: Share the GAP and the GAIN with someone I love and care about.
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