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Kerry Patterson

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1: There are often tense moments at the beginning of a Crucial Conversation.

The stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions can get intense.

“Others are scanning your every facial tic or leg crossing for evidence of your intentions,”  Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, and their co-authors write in their classic book  Crucial Conversations

“Do you mean them harm? Are you out to get them?” they are … continue reading

1: Some people are total jerks.

“Deep down and all the way through,” write Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, and their co-authors in their classic book  Crucial Conversations.

Yep.

“But let’s be honest.  Have you ever lost your temper?” the authors ask.

“Yelled at someone in the heat of the moment?

“Interrupted someone when you just couldn’t take it anymore?

“Used your power (as a parent, boss, or … continue reading

1: Consider this.

Has there ever been a time when you received really tough feedback from someone, and you didn’t become defensive?

“Instead, you absorbed the feedback. You reflected on it. You allowed it to influence you,”  Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, and their co-authors write in their classic book  Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

What was it about that situation that helped you … continue reading

1: What is a crucial conversation?

The stakes are high, opinions differ, and emotions run strong, write Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, and their co-authors in their classic book  Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

The challenge is that it’s not always obvious when a conversation shifts from routine or harmless to crucial.

“When stakes get high, you get so caught up in what you’re … continue reading

1: Imagine being faced with a crucial conversation.

The stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong.

Still, instead of engaging in productive dialogue, you shut down or lash out.

“Rather than engaging in productive dialogue, you either shut down or push back,” Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory write in their classic book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When … continue reading

1: Marion spent 25 years working for the same organization.

“I was one move away from a cabinet-level position,” he recalls.

“However, no matter how many times I applied and interviewed for such positions, I was never selected.”

Being passed over made him mad.

So, what did he do next? He started telling himself what the authors of Crucial Conversations call “clever stories.”

“Clever stories justify our actions. They conveniently … continue reading

1: Maria is mad because her co-worker Louis took over the presentation to their boss.

They had worked on the presentation together and had agreed they would each present different parts.

But once the meeting started, that’s not what happened.

“She’s feeling hurt but is worried that if she says something to Louis, she’ll look too emotional,” Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and … continue reading

1: Maria is mad.

She’s a copywriter at a mid-sized company.  She and her co-worker Louis just reviewed the latest draft of a proposal with their boss.

“During the meeting, they were supposed to be jointly presenting their ideas,” Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory write in their classic book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

“But … continue reading